The Method I Use To Make Difficult Life Decisions
The other day, I stumbled upon this quote by Nelson Mandela:
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”
And it really struck me. I found myself reflecting on various outcomes in moments I made choices based on fears and beliefs of scarcity, feeling inadequate or terrified of potential results of my decision. The patterns that surfaced in this reflection struck me with the same potency of Mandela’s quote; each time I made choices out of fear instead of from my hopes, bliss and joy, the end result was never satisfying. All I found was regret.
Many of us have been torn between the place of making a choice of love or fear.
Ever find yourself with a burning desire to stand up against an injustice you heard, but remained silent out of fear of criticism or rejection just to sink in the frustration and regret of not speaking up?
Have you stayed in a relationship with someone who didn’t appreciate you and drained you of precious energy because you feared being alone? Are you still working a job that you dread going to and is not aligned with your purpose because you don’t believe other opportunities will be made available to you?
Fear-based decisions are made from the seeds of our insecurities and more often than not blossom into regret. They often come from that nagging voice in our head screaming, “I better do this or else!”
Think back to the last big decision you had to make in your life. Did you find yourself giving away your power to someone else, whether that be your parents, boss, partner…? Chances are it was a choice birthed from fear.
Hope based decisions are rooted in trust and faith in the workings of the universe. Even if things do not fruit in the ways you desire, each time you make a choice out of love and plentitude and not lacking… You open the door of abundance.
Open yourself to the abundance of life.
With each risk you take to choose from hope, your belief in your abilities, competence and capability of manifesting your dream life grows. You can feel it in your whole body; the ease and joy that washes over you by saying “yes” and running towards what your heart song is calling for.
You playing small does not serve anyone.
Give yourself permission to fulfill your greatest and biggest dreams. Choose to dissolve fear. You will never know the excitement of the net catching you until you leap. It will take courage and bravery, but know you are capable of jumping with both feet.
If you’ve been following my adventure on the Appalachian Trail, then you know I recently was met with a big decision to make. I found myself standing at a fork on the road…
Path #1 leading me towards honoring my desires, reclaiming my former happiness and embracing vibrancy by making lifestyle choices available to myself that I KNOW serves me best.
Path #2 leading me towards pushing through physical and emotional challenges to make claim to the ambitious finish line I once aspired to.
I began asking myself, “Do you say goodbye to the trail to pursue your other dreams and better meet your needs (hope/love) or do you continue out of fear of others’ judgments and criticisms if you decide to let it go? (fear)”
I wrestled with which way to go, tossing between which direction was best for me, when I remembered words of advice I once received…
Always make growth decisions, not fear decisions.
And in this moment, as my fears and doubts dissolved, my path was illuminated with a brilliant clarity. I was ready to let go of this adventure.