In Part 1 of Cultivate Your Support System, we talked about the powerful transformation that can happen when you allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Part 2 followed up with the importance of speaking your truth. Both aspects are incredibly important pillars when you’re trying to build a community of support for yourself.
Another foundational piece of building a support system is learning how to let go.
We build a solid foundation of support by releasing all expectations of others. By expecting nothing from others, we get so much in return.
Buddhist teachings tell us that suffering can only occur when we attach ourselves to certain
- material goods
- or anything else
In order to be at peace, we have to let go of attachments and the idea of permanency.
When we detach ourselves from one particular idea...
- we allow room for growth and change
- we are better able to cope when things don't go as planned
- we put ourselves in a more positive mindset
This is highly beneficial, because change is inevitable. Which means, if we prevent situations from changing because we’re scared of losing something, we are fighting a losing battle. The world is constantly changing, and we must change with it.
As many of you know, leaving Hawaii was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. This hardship came from the attachment I had to my loving home for the past four years. There are so many reasons to be attached to this beautiful place.
- It provided structure and stability
- It was the first place I felt I really belonged
- It provided nurturing and delicious food for my body
- It was a place of true and beautiful community support
We can all justify reasons to remain attached. When I deliberately decided to let go of the emotional ties to the land that has taken care of me for so many years, I immediately put an end to my suffering. This does not mean I am happy or elated about the situation. I still feel sadness. The difference is that I do not feel despair. I do not feel like a piece of me is missing. I simply feel sad.
It can be hard to think we are giving up things we love, but we must make a mental shift from “I am giving this thing up,” to “I am honoring myself by letting go. I am opening myself up to new, exciting, and healthy changes. I believe that this next chapter in my life will bring me to exactly where I need to be."
When we hold on too tightly, we remove all possibility for new pathways to grow.
In terms of relationships, the same idea is true. For example, have you ever felt jealous when your best friend started hanging out with someone new? If so, your attachment to your friend is too strong.
If you could release your grasp on that relationship, you would open up the door for many new and amazing possibilities. You might also become friends with this other person, making the best trio ever, or you could find a new friend who would be a great addition in your life, alongside your current best friend.
No matter how much we love a person, place, idea, or thing, we must be willing to accept the fact that nothing in life is permanent or guaranteed.
This reduces suffering when things inevitably change, which allows you to maintain or raise your vibrations. This keeps you in a state of flow, openness, acceptance, and abundance. It keeps you ready for all that life has to offer.
Tips for Letting Go
- Be curious about what can come into your life when you loosen your grip of attachment.
- Ask for what you want, but be willing and open to something different occuring.
- Put TRUST in the Universe. Say this out loud with me, "I trust and believe that the Universe has my best interest at heart."
- Be mindful! Be willing to admit to yourself when you are holding on too tight.
- Be nonjudgmental. Everything that happens in life has a purpose. Do not judge your situation, simply acknowledge it for what it is. Ex: "I am leaving my home," rather than "I am leaving my home, and this is bad."
Benefits of Letting Go
- You are making room to expand and grow.
- You will allow new and wonderful relationships to enter into your life.
- Others around you will feel free and more attracted to you.
- Your suffering will be greatly reduced.
Learning to let go and see the world through non-attachment is a freeing and beautiful way of living. I hope these tips bring you some peace along your journey.